Memories of Mother

Today’s scripture from Ephesians tells us how to serve one another. It all starts in Ephesians 5:21, Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Some translations say submit, the root meaning is to put others above yourself. Thinking of others before yourself. Wives, to the husbands, and husbands, submit by loving your wives. As Christ loved the church, by offering himself. Notice, there is just a single line for the wives, but Paul writes almost a whole paragraph for the husbands.

Let’s face it, it’s because men and women are different. Most of the time women are pretty in touch with their emotional side, and men are often clueless. Sometimes its hard to share.

Usually a man comes home from his job and tells his wife he had a frustrating day at work.
His wife often will say something like, "Ahhhhh, tell me all about your day honey,".
The husband looks at her and says, "Well.. I just did."

Sometimes men are a little thick, so Paul tells husbands here in an intimate way how to a husband is to love his wife. Look at Ephesians 5:29. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church. How are husbands to show their love to their wives? By nourishing and cherishing them.  Now the original Greek words here are really interesting. Nourishing comes from the Greek word Ektrepho, which means to nurture, to bring up with loving care to maturity. It doesn’t mean to nourish in a physical sense with food or drink, it means to do those things which helps your partner to grow and be well in their inner life. Their emotional life, their spiritual life. It means to be their emotional and spiritual partner in the struggles and joys of life. To take care of them, to nurture. It means not to tear them down emotionally when they make a mistake. Or point out their flaws on a continual basis. No, just the opposite. It’s telling them how beautiful they are, even when they did not have time to put on their make up. It’s letting them know how amazing they are as a loving mother to their children.

Next is the word cherish, which is translated from the Greek word Thalpo. Thalpo means literally to warm up, to keep warm. Here it means to cherish with tender love, to foster tender loving care.  Paul is saying, keep the love in your relationship. Warm it up, keep it warm. Often times in the day to day work and problems of life we tend to become complacent. We often take for granted those who mean the most to us. Love can often grow cold. Many times, if you ask someone going through a divorce the thing that started it is, they just were not in love anymore. They grew apart. But real love, lasting love is a verb. True lasting love is not just a feeling; it’s an act of the will.  In a long lasting relationship, you can’t just expect the oozy feelings to be there without some work. So Paul tells us men, Warm it up! Keep it warm. Foster tender loving care. Tell her that you love her. Be romantic. Hug. Cuddle. Do the things that foster the feelings. Show your appreciation and love by action, and you’ll once again be feeling the attraction. Unresolved and hidden resentment destroy your connection and chilling a relationship only lead to isolation and loneliness.

Barbara Walters, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Ms.Walters' vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands, and are happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'
The woman looked Miss Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, 'Land Mines.'

Husbands, love your wife with the verb, love. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church.

Paul also talks to children, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), "that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.". How do you honor your father and mother? Obedience?  Because having a rebellious child, breaks the heart of a mother. I was a rebellious youth. One of the worst memories I ever had was telling my mother I had got in trouble with the law when I was a teenager. To see her face, just drop in sadness. It’s that way with all mothers, they want the best for their children. And when they rebel, even if its not that serious, It brings them so much sorrow. Sorrow of concern, out of love.

Lastly there is another way to honor our mother. By honoring their memory.

Anna Jarvis of Philadelphia  started Mother's Day celebration On May 12, 1907, two years after her mother's death, Anna held a memorial to her mother and thereafter embarked upon a campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday. She succeeded in making this nationally recognized in 1914. But it is little known that Anna Jarvis also filed a lawsuit in an effort to stop the over- commercialization of Mother's Day. She and her sister Ellsinore spent their family inheritance campaigning against what the holiday had become. She lost her fight. Anna had hoped for a day of reflection and quiet prayer by families, thanking God for all that mothers had done.

Today, let’s not forget our mother’s who have gone as well. Take time to reflect.

 You know my mom used to make this horrid soup, that I hated as a child. Salmon soup. It was a chowder, really made of salmon and milk or cream. Boy I hated it. I used to sit there and just stare at the little pieces of salmon with the skin still on it bobbing in the bowl. Mom died in the 80s of cancer. And after all these years, boy what I would give, just to have one more bowl of her salmon soup.

Today is a day to celebrate and to honor our mothers. And a day to make love a verb. Let’s Pray.